I went to see the astonishing Amanda Palmer at the Spiegeltent – sorry, The Famous Spiegeltent – last night. While waiting in the queue that snaked around the front of the National Art Gallery, I found myself sitting on the edge of the Gallery pool between two groups of ditzy young bints. Seriously, I was losing brain cells via osmosis for over half an hour – it’s a wonder I can still spell osmosis. Highlights of overheard conversations to follow.
Ditzy Young Bints #1:
DYB-A: There’s someone in every group who’s really gay but hasn’t, you know, come out.
DYB-B: Who do we know?
DYB-C: Craig’s not gay!
DYB-A: Craig is so gay! The only time he’s shown any interested in a girl was when he asked Katrina to show him her calf muscles.
DYB-C: But I’ve kissed him!
DYB-B: Yeah, in the dark.
Ditzy Young Bints #2: (one of them is reading a novel by Patrick White)
DYB-Y: And he makes every character say, “I should of”‘ instead of “I should have“. It’s so annoying. It’s like he’s saying Australian’s are all stupid and can’t talk properly.
DYB-Z: ‘I should of’?
DYB-Y: Like, “I should of done that”.
DYB-Z: That is stupid. It’s like people who say “his” instead of “he’s”. His gone to the movies.
DYB-Y: Ugh, how stupid. I mean, I’m don’t want to be, like, anti-people-who-don’t-know-stuff, but …
There was more, much more, but my brain cells were leaking out of my ear by that point. I must remember to carry my mini tape-recorder with me at all times. Or at least a notebook and pen, even when I have my ridiculously small, going-out-at-night-and-all-I-need-is-my-wallet bag. Life is beautiful.